original story - 9 - the original ones

by bofa xesjum

the original joker told a funny joke when the agile reporter tried to tell one of her own, except that a lucky gamble reversed the interrogation. the three kings quivered quietly. all the friendly undertakers chuckled regretfully when the friar and the street preacher hurled quiescent insults at each other behind the parade. calm down and make an effort to understand nothing, the billionaire advised. i heard nothing, the elephant boy expostulated serenely. gratefully, the youthful tyrant made a yearning obeisance to the sad and weary diva.

original story - 8. the window

by bofa xesjum

it looks nasty. it looked nastier last night. we may be obsolete. speak for yourself. i am just trying o be helpful, considering the desperate situation we find ourselves in. you just can’t face reality. > oh, really? whose reality might that be? don’t start. look out the window, what do you see? a river of despair, flowing to a sea of doom. that says it all. ii don’t believe it - i have faith. what about the river of despair? i am confused - i need a drink. after what happened last night? it was all gordon’s fault. gordon doesn’t know anythirthng. that is why it is all his fault. we should get out of town before it is too late. we got out of town that is why we are here, remember how sincere we were? not really - sincere about what? did you hear something? so - you reveal yourself at last. i promised that i would - remember? listen! the knock on the door - who could it be?

original story - 7. the pigeon

by bofa xesjum

you just can’t face reality. what do you call reality? the river flowed to the sea. roger’s fate was sealed when he agreed to lend sarah fifty thousand dollars. eugene promised roger he would stand by him through thick and thin. willie listened at the door of the conference room. all their fates were sealed when willie heard the elevator risig. constance watched willie saunter casually away from the conference room. the pigeon on the window observed eugene’s mouth moving. eugene nodded to constance when she entered thr conference room. he did not ask her where she had been the night before or why she was late for the meeting. i sincerely hope so, daniel boone asserted when eugene finally finished speaking. daniel boone slunk away down the corridor to the elevator, thinking vile thoughts chester caught up with him. what happened to you last night, he asked. daniel gave a long rambling answer, which chester was more than a bit skeptical of. eugene, daniel, constance, and chester were all obsolete. only williw would survive the armageddon. nothing could be further from the truth, willie maintained stoutly when questioned about his behavior by frank and edgar. frank did most of the talking. edgar mostly looked on with a skeptical frown on his face. the truth was never revealed, tomorrow everything may be different. if everyone learns to face reality. but even the obsolete have problems. chester did not believe anything eugene or constance said. > daniel despised them all. they all, even frank and edgar, agreed on one thing - they hoped tomorrow would be different.

original story - 6. funny

by bofa xesjum

dead men tell no tales, bud brown stated diffidently. why are you picking on me again? hogarth asked. picking on you? you do not know what picking on is, brother. i could pick you out of a lineup down at the state police headquarters. you young punks are the problem, always ready to snitch on your pals. i would play ball with you if you would play ball with me. dead men don’t play ball. everything changed the day that lion escaped from the zoo. it is too bad the lion did not tell a few tales. he was all set to, but too many reporters showed up at his trial, and he was afraifd his relatives back in africa would her about it. people do not understand how these things work. some people do. what is that supposed to mean? explain yourself, please. i do not have enough passion or commitment to undertake that task. you always were a whiner, weren’t you? hogarth fell silent, refusing to dignify bud brown’s comment, ad a flower bloomed in a garden on the outskirts of town. young people are the problem - that is just a natural fact. there is not much point in cutting them any slack. the lion is still on the loose, in the hearts of men and women, boys and girls, all over the world. the power of the people runs away like rainwater down a side street. joe stood on the corner, wondering where everybody was. he saw bud brown and hogarth slouching in front of the 7-11 halfway down the block, but they did not count. he tried to remember the heroes of his childhood, who had passion and commitment. he did not think it was funny. he wondered if his old friends with drinks clutched eternally in their hands thought it was funny. somewhere flowers were growing, and bugs were crawling around them. you think it’s funny, don’t you?

original story - 5. the lion

by bofa xesjum

has anybody seen joe? emily asked plaintively with a glass of gin in her hand. why would anybody see joe? ralph responded. this is bucky’s party. a lion had escaped from the zoo earlier in the morning, and this event had dominated the conversation until emily’s question. more people had shown up than bucky and belinda had expected, and they were running out of everything. belinda was trying to reach the caterer to order more sandwiches, especially the peanut butter and marshmallow, which had been a great hit. you will never understand, professor maling was explaining to deborah, events like the lion escaping are all part of an elaborate plan. > deborah was wearing an old red t-shirt with power to the people stenciled on it in fading black letters. her eye caught a blue flower in the hair of a younger woman she did not immediately recognize. where is the passion, the commitment, emily asked bill waters, who had been standing in one spot with a blank stare through most of the afternoon. it disappeared when the people stopped wanting power, bill replied with surprising force. you think it’s funny, don’t you, bill? emily’s dark eyes glittered. you want passion and commitment? a voice asked behind them. a lion is roaming the streets devouring innocent citizens, and you all stand around with drinks in your hands like it is the most natural thing in the world - you young people are the problem, professor maling interjecetd forcefully. but before he could continue, belinda intervened - let’s all take a break, she suggested, a fifteen minute break, and then we can all assume new identities and start this party all over again. that’s a great idea, honey, bucky seconded, because dead men tell no tales. even after we assume new identities, the young woman with the blue flower in her hair exclaimed, the people will still be without power. the flower trembled in her hair, as if it wished to bloom in the spring. let us make this a day we will always remember, emily oined. why are you always picking on me? deborah whispered to bill waters, as the guests drifted apart to take a break and assume their new identities. i forget, bill answered sheepishly. let’s do it people, belinda reminded everybody, because we have a bigger crowd than we expected. the girl with the blue flower in her hair, whose name was jenny lake, sighed wearily. outside, the lion was still on the prowl. the guests began assuming their new identities, even though nobody had seen joe. why does everybody hate me? belinda wondered, i am trying to do the right thing.

original story - 4. homeboy

by bofa xesjum

you decide - i declared i quit the system a long tome ago. i got a new word or you - kinesis. billy and al were using it before the big flop, but quietly. it is too early to tell if chucky or carlos are serious, but never look down a lonesome road after midnight. you think it is a joke, but it is a truly grand opportunity for an old homeboy. the lady in number 6 made a similar gracious remark. how suspicious are the authorities? the forgotten warriors are waiting routinely to tell the fifth joke.

an encounter

by bofa xesjum

monsieur b, i believe? why yes, i am monsieur b. thank you so much for recognizing me. it had been a long tine since anyone has. do you mind if i sit down? no, no, please do. i have always been a great admirer of yours, monsieur. thank you. my memory is not what it was. have we met? briefly, at the conference of the s society at n, in 19 something or other. i am commissioner leroy, perhaps you remember me? oh, of course, of course. if i recall, in those long ago days, we may have exchanged words - in print - good old print - not always the softest. indeed! but i always truly admired you as a pioneer. tell me, how is the espresso here? not very good, try the hot chocolate. i will take your advice. waiter! yes, monsieur. a hot chocolate, please. how do you like it? the same as this gentleman. very good, monsieur. where were we? in the dim past, exchanging thunderbolts. thunderbolts in a clear sky. waiting for a storm that never came. oh, it came it some ways. the old castles and battlements are gone, or at least silenced. one can barely hear them muttering in the backgrouappendix -nd, soft waves in a low tide. but the high tide never lifted our ships. the ships that were never built. and never sailed. but they brought us here. they left us here. your hot chooiate. monsieur.

original story - 3. the queen's stratagem

by bofa xesjum

reynaud had nothing but a cat to present to the emperor. sinbad envisioned the delicate witticism he would deliver to the terrible prince who waited outside. i believe the empress has charmed this clown with the express apprehension of obliterating the many regrets of the old lady. nevertheless the warlord and the queen have agreed on the destruction of the ancient formalities. heaven sent its best wishes to the old lady. the feline tailor judiciously interrogated the sturdy guardsmen before the queen nodded knowingly to the master. under peril of annihilation, the barbarian gave way -

original story 2 - the adventurers

by bofa xesjum

yesterday pope alexis questioned the turkish envoy as to the benefits of a quiet kinesis when revenge is cold and the joke is not worth the price of exposition. many of the adventurers made an exhibition of sorrowful virtue when the notary ordered them to be beheaded. they all laughed at the viceroy when he grew sentimental about the adventurers’ ’youth. the lady waited patiently for the cavalier to implicate the groom in the judiciously defeated insurrection under the count’s jeering opportunism. a saucy fellow boldly offered to evoke another revolutionary fracas at midnight. and the ladies grew indignant at last under the clouds.

original story 1 - disdain

by bofa xesjum

henry the cannibal laughed. but sir percival expressed disdain. doctor zurk, the distinguished zoologist, viewed water nagelby as a potentially gruesome candidate for examination. the little king suppressed a yawn obliviously when the red nun upheld the bifurcation of the hairy monster. forgoing the old dogmas, gareth tremblingly, a wizened consultant who expected the youthful follies of the queen to be exposed momentarily, sighed deeply. in the intervals between the jollities of the chancellor of the exchequer and the king of terror, roger attempted to interpose a few damning statistics. meanwhile, zillions of indignant citizens languished in the waiting room.

another manuscript breaks off - 2. the workers

by genghis gilgamesh

i am not a rocket scientist, was mo jo chan’s response to most questions put to him by his fellow humans. nancy ji and betty m do, the two women who worked with mo at the rvd reaearch center, at first found this mildly amusing, then mildly annoying, and then maddening. they increasingly found everything about mo maddening, particularly his slovenliness, his habit of grunting to himself, and his general air of disdain for themselves. they decided to do something about it. they put their heads together in the lunch room. nancy and betty always went to lunch together, leaving mo to run the department, and they were always late returning. mo was all good with this. for reasons he kept to himself, he did not care for female company in any circumstances or at any time of the day or night, and the work the three of them were assigned by rvd was not all that arduous. although they did not expect much, the two women decided to check first on any protocols the rvd corporation might have in place regarding unsatisfying fellow workers. nancy ”had heard” that the h r department was overburdened with such complaints but agreed with betty that it was a good idea to check. hello h r department, , betty typed in briskly on her minitablet, i and another employee have to work with a person who is a real jerk and we do not like him, our persons are demeaned and denied by his attititude and existence. can you help us out. a message from h r came back before betty could take her finger off her tablet. we are sorry but all representatives are busy at this time. your request will be considered in the order in which it was received. you may contact h r central at rvdhrcentral33 or 54639764976 but this will not guarantee faster service. thank you. betty showed nancy the message, what did i tell you, nancy said. i was not surprised, betty replied. but now we can take matters into our own hands and get down to business. * unsuspected by the innocent nancy and betty, an investigator named 89-rt-jones had been activated by the act of betty’s call, and it immediately began a survey of betty’s brain, history, and classification.. betty was classified as a 20 on a scale of 1 to 22, with 1 being the persons most volatile and threatening to social stability, and 22 the least threatening. betty’’s call was given a tentative urgency rating of 13 out of 14 - 14 being the least urgent. 88.7 percent of class 13 calls were quickly downgraded to 14s - which meant that they would never be answered. the other 11.3 percent were

another manuscript breaks off, number 1

by genghis gilgamesh

the world was obsolete but nobody declared victory. an obnoxious sinner walked down a lonely road. his name was legion - lawrence j legion iii, of pine bluff arkansas. his serial number was 34795-78329-k7, but as he did not have it written down, and had lost his wallet somewhere in the wilderness, he would probably soon forget it. his life was a waterfall of despair. there is no victory in mystery., but revenge is sweet. he finally came to a fork in the road. one road seemed to lead to a desert. the other deeper into the woods. where would he find his enemy? in the woods, living in a tree? in the desert, living in a tent? or in the great city, which no longer existed? he had enough food for about three days. in those three days, the invaders might return, civilization might be reborn, or he himself might turn into a butterfly. on an impulse, he headed into the woods. and was immediately

story one, part 2

by bofa xesjum

part two of two

all aboard! all aboard! the great sad day had finally arrived. everybody who had a ticket, by hook or by crook, was at the platform. sad sam jones clutched his suitcase with a savage passion. daniel boone, disguised as a biologist, watched from the outskirts. he could not understand what the fuss was all about. queen blue yearned for a moment of peace and quiet. the people in the know were nowhere to be seen, or so it seemed. johnny had given up on frankie and had arrived at the platform without her. please, sir, can you spare a few dollars? tolstoy had to laugh - what kind of person showed up at the platform on the sad day looking for change? but roy rogers did not find it amusing - it filled him with a curious foreboding. elvis was even more concerned - he knew something was wrong. profoundly wrong - he slowly, so as not to attract attention, began moving back toward the entrance. he wanted to get out - out anywhere, any way. nobody else seemed to have the same idea - it reinforced his resolve. gosh, gina thought, this crowd is bigger than i expected. i wish george was here - he would know what to do. suddenly the voice shouting all aboard! all aboard! stopped and another voice took its place. you people have all been gamed , the new voice, a silky feminine voice, announced succintly. this has happened too many times, tolstoy thought. how could i have been such a fool? let us go!. let us people go! a roar, apparently spontaneous, burst from the crowd. not very likely, the silky feminine voice laughed heartily. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! the roof of the platform blew open. a violent convulsion swept through the assembled would-be pilgrims. and it was all understood at last, in an instant. end of part two

story one, part 1

by bofa xesjum

part one of two

i think everybody has a right to be themselves. robin hood lived in the woods. there goes everybody again. what brings you here? i hardly know what to say any more. my mom is the nicest person who ever lived. people like you are just lucky, that’s all. davy crockett lived in the woods too, and with bears and indians. katie jones baked great apple pies, but was not very good with chocolate cupcakes. i expected nothing less from you. henry viii could be annoying at times. but you promised! remember when millionaire was a word? what can you expect from people like that? there actually was a person on tv named fred friendly - you could look it up. and another person named gorgeous george. billy the kid was an invention of the media. there was no media back then. i expect you never heard of p t barnum or nellie bly. forgive me, i thought i was talking to a civilized person. the town was strangely quiet, johnny waited for frankie in the doorway of the laundromat. come on,man. you almost had me there. the express roared through town at midnight. all the best people were on it. that was clearly understood from day one. end of part one