the store

by fred flynn

you will eat in the cafeteria, the same cafeteria as the customers. of course. what is on the menu today? hot dogs, same as any other day, and chili dogs on sunday. how many do i get? it depends on how much you sell. read the contract. i will. but right now i need a nap. all right. but be ready to work as soon as you wake up. the employees dormitory was, naturally, in the middle of the store, along with the cafeteria and the human resources department. when htd-45 woke up, he had trouble getting his socks on his feet. he went outside the store to give himself more room. but he had more and more trouble getting the socks on, and drifted further and further away from the store, and found himself in an abandoned part of the city with empty buildings and cracked sidewalks. somehow he finally got his socks and shoes on and made it back to the store. but the day was already half gone and he had not made a single sale. in the store, employees did not stand behind a counter and wait for customers to select items themselves and bring them to the counter for purchase. the employees circulated among the customers and encouraged them to buy the items on the shelves. the employees then received points based on the number and value of the purchased items. htd-45 was not very good at this. that shoehorn is one of our best items, madam. i don’t wear shoes. this set of colored balloons is perfect for all occasions, but especially office parties. i don’t work in an office. everybody should own one of these back scratchers. they are the talk of the town. i am not everybody. and so forth. how did i ever come to this? htd-45 thought despairingly. is this my destiny? suddenly he woke up. what a strange dream! he was not a clerk in some strange store in a distant dimension - he was an adjunct professor of ninth generation marxism at the university of a————. he had fallen asleep at his desk in his office , and his devoted students were waiting in classroom 75. he got up hurriedly and gathered his notes together. his trailing tendrils almost got caught in the door as he exited into the corridor.