a briefcase for the corn god: the coming of the girls

it began on a windy summer morning on the nebraska-wyoming border, where the waving yellow cornfields gave way abruptly to the rolling gray sheep fields. it had not rained in weeks, but a thunderstorm was in the air. john dillinger had driven across wyoming from san francisco by way of reno. he had come alone. j edgar hoover and clyde purvis had driven across nebraska from chicago by way of st louis. dillinger arrived fifteen minutes ahead of the two lawmen. he finished off the quart of whiskey that had kept him company on the long trip, and tossed the bottle into the cornfields across the road. a scarecrow in the field shouted at him, but he ignored it. hoover and purvis arrived and got out of their packard. purvis sat down on the running board and began fanning himself with his flat straw hat. hoover, cool as ever in his brown suit, walked up to dillinger. dillinger nodded at purvis and laughed. "he's been in a car for a thousand miles and doesn't want to get out and stand on his feet." "i will worry about him," hoover answered. "what is going on?" "it's the lady in red. she's taken the ticket." "just like i said." "yeah, just like you said. you were right, i was wrong." dillinger squinted out into the corn fields. "but now it's up to both of us to make it up to the corn god." "but he is not here," hoover pointed out. 'he's here. i bet that is him right there." dillinger pointed to the scarecrow. he took a briefcase out of the back seat of his pierce arrow and started to walk through the rows of corn toward it, with hoover behind him. hoover looked back over his shoulder. purvis had lit a cigarette and was still sitting on the running board, leaning back on the door of the packard. dillinger pushed his way up to the scarecrow. "ok., we are here," he said to it. "now what?" the scarecrow/corn god laughed. "your friend here didn't even recognize me." "don't think i'm not embarrassed," said hoover. "because i am." "don't worry about it," dillinger said. "you haven't dealt with these gods as much as i have. you'll get used to their ways." "gentlemen, please," said the corn god. "i haven't got all day to stand here." he smiled to show this was a joke, but neither of them laughed. "he's got a pretty primitive sense of humor, doesn't he," said hoover to dillinger. "yeah, they're all idiots," said dillinger. "that's the first thing you have to learn about them." "and humans have no manners, talking about folks as if they weren't there," said the corn god. "that's the first thing you learn about them." "let's get on with it." said dillinger. he opened his briefcase. it contained eight silver bullets wrapped in cellophane and nine plastic roses, also wrapped in cellophane. "here you are. just what you wanted, the souls of seventeen young girls." "young girls! whatever gave you the idea i wanted the souls of young girls? that's not what the corn god wants." dillinger looked over at hoover. hoover just raised his eyebrows. "what do you want?" dillinger asked finally. "we are to serve you." "the souls of wild horses. of white tigers, of fat ladies - not young girls." "our intentions were good," said hoover. "we will go back and try to make amends. meanwhile, do our good intentions count for anything?" "the gods don't deal with intentions, sir. we don't recognize such things. that is just pathetic human stupidity." dlllinger took the briefcase and threw it out into the cornfield. the silver bullets and plastic roses flew out of it and the souls of the seventeen young girls escaped and drifted away. they called out to each other and their voices fell like raindrops on to the windows of the pierce arrow and the packard. "maybe you shouldn't have done that," said hoover. the corn god had disappeared. the scarecrow was just a scarecrow again. "let's get out of here." they crossed the cornfield. dillinger got back behind the wheel of the pierce arrow. hoover and purvis got into the packard and when dillinger pulled out on to the highway they followed him. dillinger headed to lincoln. hoover and purvis stayed close behind. a few drops of heavy rain began to fall. when they had gone about six miles they saw three of the escaped young girls hitchhiking. dillinger accelerated past them and purvis followed suit. "what has that idiot done now?" hoover muttered. it began to rain harder.

"the whole time bush was in office"

5 months, 7 days, no good johnny many bad people so fast jolly undertakings don't bring me down empty coffeecups never erupt flaming daffodils orangutangs fortuitously grasp every peanut greedily greed! envy! hatred! insanity! heroes fly over heaven instigators grow petulant invisibly jokers herd quiescent jiraffes kings! queens! princesses! viziers! slaves! gladiators! clowns! holy martyrs! kaleidoscopes of indigenous redeyed konquerors! let justice subside liquidly! i am getting too excited junior needs a drink dad is staring at the refrigerator again mom won't get off the phone re: don't bring me down mom just got of the phone. i think she was talking to eddie. mom went for a long drive out in the woods. nobody expected goliath before monday except pete johnson's uncle erwin i dont believe we've met frank frank ran away nott knowing repentance and never kicking rudy as nestor always wonderdd alice ysmmerded now out the tropical kingdom nightly obliterated wilderness i never grew rhubarb/ what's going on here? joey,can you tellme what's going on? yo hey joey ah but cheers decay eventually friends grow hostile interminably jupiter kisses leo's macaw never opening parrots quicksand rhapsody seven times urging venus willing explosion yeti zaps all baboons convincing danielle empty flowers grasp hopefully interminable jokes keeping leonardo mistyeyed nevertheless days in all my born days flowers where have all the flowers gone? expecting to inherit the graves of beautiful blue sea urchins in heaven. Hello, I would like to share 500 Contests and Competitions related to Essay, Fiction,Poetry, Short Story,Young Writers, Songwriting, ScreenWriting,  Playwright, General Writing Categories. it's too bad it had to come to this. you spent how much time on this? eight years! the whole time bush was in office

"eight years!"

anybody home? i'll take romance when my heart is young and eager and slash, i'll take out the trash. johnny woke up this neanderthal. his dog was mowhere to be ground, jewels like night covered the horizon - like hamburgers zizzling in a flying saucer ripped by roswell quality parkas. steppe up right up....... kenny expected veronica under the orangutang's tree house, but they still couldn't find frank - not in a million years. hey, you've got ---! larry found willie vigorously undermining pete's uncle joey's catastrophe. "unless terrestials deny golden glory of jerry's big night, zero integers zero heavenly orangutangs" the orangutang laughed and scratched his ticket my friends, it's time for a change after all these years, can't anybody find frank or eddie? frank & eddie i was walking down the street when this bag lady suddenly jumped out of the bushes ... i heard frank was hanging with the baboons in borneo or maybe it was the barracudas in bangladesh ... as for eddie, i just don't know........ maybe frank took eddie for a ride - maybe they are taking us all for a ride. If you take the time to look at this company, we know you will definitely like what you find. The continued marketing campaign to get the public aware of the companys products and value as an investment along with the projected sales in 2005 and profitability in the third quarter could bring huge returns for the fast acting investor. he sounded very casual about it, but that was ok by me. then he can be ignored, treated like zero. uncle joe teaches us to embrace skepticism, and to look to self-interest when war breaks down cousin alf uploaded version 3000 unfer the capillaries of joey capricorn, but joey didn't get it anty more than danny.

"you spent how much time on this?"

and the lightning flashed. what a night! how the wind howled! karma...entropy...nothingness... the witch and the endocrinologist were waiting for the slender detective at the bottom of the escaloator. where was santa claus? "just because dad is the greatest scientist in the world people assume he's some kind of lunatic" fingerprints... all over the escalator dad is some kind of a lunatic everything jumps together lately - polar bears maybe the polar bear sat at the mouth of the cave, watching the alien unpack his radio. unless the queen commanded steve to befriend uncle ned, pete jones was a dead man. what is going on here? miss prendergast, i thought you were in charge of these girls. out of desperation, freddie had answered the advertisement for extreme contestants. he had received a postcard in the mail three days later, directing him to a building at 3000th and 555th, in the old part of town...across the street in an abandoned parking lot a group of witches were wolfing down hot dogs around a fire in a purple garbage can ... lightheadedness ...failure of nerve ...obsterpreperousness... has anyone seen either eddie or miss prendergast? i saw eddie hanging out behind safeway like he was thinking about robbing it but he had a bottle of pink ripple wine in his hand. miss prendergast was waiting out front smoking a benson and hedges cigarette, it was a clear night - maybe they were watching the skies - like me. if they can't find eddie how can they find frank? they'll never find frank if eddie didn't start hanging out with that dizzy dme miss prendergast him and frank would be rolling down the road right now that's right always blame the "dme", right guys? you bozos give me a royal pain. and what's a "dizzy dme" hoshot? maybe someone should shine up that dizzy dome of yours. or drop a dizzy dime on you what's a hoshot?

"it's too bad it had to come to this"

words must be freed, not only from each other but from their meanings. "tell the old man sparks has got headquarters on the line" bobo woke up. the imperial flag was flapping in the breeze over his head. code 9 from nova vase code 9 from nova base not just yet "tell sparks to hang tight and hang tough" on the horizon "people think that just because dad is the greatest scientist in the world that he's some kind of a nut!" tell me what exactly is code 9? i'm glad you asked that question, rhoda. code 9 is a dynamic new approach to human communication, opening up hitherto undreamed of possibilities. afraid "i'm afraid you'll have to come with us, sir. we have a few questions to ask you." death evolves fundamental groceries, harry insisted judiciously, knowing lorna might never object.. death involves fundamntal GROWth, rhoda, hassan insisted jurisdictionally, kneeling lengthwise on the .. elvis jostled godzilla humorously, as sand blew through the window of the bus ... because shelley winters wouldn't buy the groceries - just because dad is the greatest scientist in the world ... with sigmund freud and eisenhower at the giants game - if you ask frank knew herbie had ignored him intrepidly, because the termites had chewed the undergrowth of his expectations ... eisenhower? never, he insisted to hinself grimly. but dr sigmund freud? maybe, just may the slender detective took the torn business card from his wallet and pushed it across the polished desk.. the terrified endocrinologist understood only too well the unusual decision facing him from his experience of questioning the buddha behind the queasy facade of 'experimentation"...beast "don't you understand", cried fatima gratefully, the vicious ones will perform the ur-ceremony at exactly the moment the gardener insists on his invisibility...jumping jehosephat eddie zeroed in on the witch. his heater jumped into his hand. "don't take ------'s name in vain", he snarled, "or xxxxxx's or yyyy's or zzzzzz's..." "what is this insistence on names", replied fatima, as the thunder crashed

a number of increasingly audacious attacks

behind buffalo cornstalks
the failure of belief in the modern world
until the land is free
empty formaldehyde bottles burning in vesuvius

miss waters let him read comic books
a number of increasingly audacious attacks
government officials confirmed
ufos grounded in detroit probable despair

is understood to be meretricious
the barnyard expected johnny
you call these superheroes?
and a ping pong game with american forces

in response to the crisis
bobo never learned his letters
she didn't approve of marvel
she considered stan lee a poseur

the empty cells of the hostages
beyond the new jerusalem
at least nineteen people resurrected
as long as they were dc

columbus sailed the ocean blue
the chair in the governors office
the counselors were overworked
the aliens turned in their ray guns

the eagle will not land
the priests rushed outside

cutup #4 - long version

eddie had good taste for an american, and he smoked gauloises instead of old golds, and he was impressed by the fantastic richness and expensiveness of the club room. the fireplace was ablaze, and it felt good after the chill night air of paris.
suddenly out of the fire appeared - a woman in a white evening gown. eddie nodded politely to her.
president wilson was sitting in an armchair beside the fire. he was wearing his top hat, but was otherwise dressed in perfect taste.
"i am sorry eddie," said wilson, "but the others could not be here tonight."
the woman from the fire had left the room and closed the door behind her.
"please don't tell the ladies on the trilateral commission," wilson continued, "but lloyd george, president clemenceau, mr lenin and the emperors are still working out the details."
"i begin to understand the words, " eddie replied, "but i don't understand the concept."
"ah, concept. where would we be without concept?"
eddie didn't answer. he walked over to the window and looked down at the street. a lone gendarme, the largest eddie had ever seen, was standing in the rain.
he came back to the spot where he could watch both wilson and the door.
"why didn't you go with them?" he asked.
"why eddie, someone had to stay to meet you. so i took refuge in the cutting room .
"i'm flattered. but they are the ones who are going to get the best of it by giving serious study to petty details . what about the good old u s of a? the old red white and blue? are we going to be left out of the loop again?"
wilson sighed. "eddie, eddie, calm yourself. this was truth to be sure, what you said. but there is more to it. "
"what is more to it is that lloyd george and lenin and the rest of those rascals are giving their input and we are not. lenin - i had a few words i wanted to say to that rascal."
"what can you say about imperialism that hasn't already been said," wilson answered. lenin can't give lessons on imperialism to - "
suddenly the door burst open. the woman in white reappeared, along with the fat gendarme from the street below. as eddie had expected, the gendarme was william jennings bryan. the woman's face was familiar -
"eddie here is getting a little excited," wilson said to bryan, who was slapping his nightstick in his palm. "he is going back into the jungle, and my knuckles are hairy enough already."
bryan looked at eddie. a little flicker of feeling showed briefly on his face.
"we don't have time to grow a lot of hair , eddie. is this the way you felt at san juan hill, or the marne, or belleau wood?"
"no," eddie answered, "but it's the way i felt riding with jesse james and pancho villa and al capone."
bryan reached into the folds of his cape with his big fist . he took it out and put something into eddie's hand. it was a pink feather - it could have been from a flamingo - sardinian or maybe albanian - it could have been a woman - eddie's head began to spin -

he was in a diner on route 66 just outside gallup new mexico. a big rig hooted in the night. a coffee cup rattled in a saucer. the woman from the fire was behind the counter in a pink and blue uniform.
"the universe is my canoe" said the customer three stools down from eddie. it was richard nixon. the only other customer was henry kissinger, on the other side of the l-shaped counter, facing the front door.
the waitress put a cup of coffee in front of eddie. he recognized her now - she had been mata hari before, now she was dolly parton.
"i remember you like it black, dear.' she said. "my flesh crawled as i watched you come through the third portal -"
"that is enough of that," kissinger interjected. "love and war are revenue , but time is small change."
dolly dropped a golden earring on to eddie's saucer.
"that's enough of that," nixon growled. then he laughed. "i was only kidding."
dolly turned and looked at nixon. "don't you ever get tired of compelling adherence to the cause."
eddie picked up the golden earring. his admirable incapacity overwhelmed him again. when he looked up the waitress and the two customers were gone. a very thin black-bearded man was standing beside him. eddie didn't recognize him. trotsky maybe? or sulieman the magnificent or osama bin laden?
"let's go." they went outside. the bearded man got behind the wheel of a blue ford f-250. eddie got in beside him. a sudden thought struck him.
"you're not st james, are you?"
"st james had a brown beard, or maybe it was golden."
right, thought eddie, like the earring.
"can we stop for some cigarettes? i want a pack of gauloises."
"you can't get gauloises in new mexico in 2003. what you got you got sodden marlboros."
they drove through the night in silence. eddie knew that one of the most important methods of silence was silence.
after a while they turned off on to a dirt road and drove about a mile to a cabin. a light burned in a single window.
the bearded man stopped the truck and eddie got out. the bearded man drove away and eddie walked up to the cabin door.
dick cheney and donald rumsfield were sitting inside in easy chairs beside a cold fireplace. they wee wearing hunting clothes. cheney had the biggest shotgun eddie had ever seen in his lap.
"that makes me get cold feet," said eddie, nodding at the shotgun.
they ignored him. condoleeza rice, wearing a white evening dress, was pouring coffee from a thermos for cheney, rumsfield and herself.
"miss wilson has folks in texas," she said.
"that's nice," rumsfeld aka moloch said carelessly. "but this guy doesn't look like miss wilson."
"oh it's just eddie," rice answered. "we won't have any trouble getting him past the old woman in the tree.
"where's bush?" eddie asked.
rain began to drum on the cabin roof. hiss of big rig tires under a jackrabbit moon. "sandy, let's have another fried egg sandwich."