novel 83 - 4. over again

by nick nelson

part four of ?

to read previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here

can i take the test over again? yes. when? right now. not the same test - a different one. can i take a little time to gather my thoughts? you can take 120 seconds - starting right now. can i have a glass of water? one glass. it will be brought to you while you are taking the test. all right. you will only have 60 seconds, not 120, to answer each question. are you ready” yes. what are you? a person. are you lonely? yes. how lonely? on a scale of one to ten? you have thirty seconds left to answer the question.. on a scale of one to ten. one being the least lonely, four. who would win a fight between little david and bruce lee? i never heard of either one of them. 45 seconds. bruce lee. who would win a fight between a hippo and a dinosaur? i do not know what they are. 30 seconds. a dinosaur who invented the apple? eve. who invented trees? charles darwin. who invented adam? albert einstein. who invented numbers? cleopatra. who invented the movies? what is a movie? 45 seconds. karl marx. time is up. that is only ten questtions. don’t i get twenty? you only got two right. so you can not pass the test, even if you get the rest right. that doesn’t seem fair. look up seem and fair in the dictionary. austin woke up. he had fallen asleep in the tube. his test was still two weeks away. to be continued

novel 83 - 3. austin's first test

by nick nelson

part three of ?

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good morning. good morning. your name, please. austin ingersoll. your i d number? 885-9432-639-a. thank you. have you taken this test before? no. are you ready? yes. you have 120 seconds to answer each question. do you understand? yes. * what is the tallest mountain in the world? - mount everest what is the longest river in the world? - the nile, but maybe the amazon, depending on the definition of length. is your mom the nicest person in the world? - my mom's the person I strive to be. is your dad the funniest person in the world? - funny people are authentic and sincere. are dogs or cats smarter? - dogs learn and respond to commands. are humans or lobsters smarter? - humans learn and respond to commands. are rabbits or goldfish smarter? - goldfish — IQ 25; rabbit — IQ 22 should white people all go back to europe? - yes. should black people all go back to africa? - thousands of african-americans are moving back to africa for a better quality of life, safety, and a sense of belonging, challenging the narrative of africa as a poor and dangerous continent. should mexico be given back to the aztecs or to the olmecs? - that's a fascinating question touching on history. should eurasia be given back to the neanderthals? - yes should africa be given back to the austraolopithecines? -instead of "giving back" the continent, efforts are focused on preserving the sites where they once lived. are you the center of the universe? - the universe has no single center because space itself is expanding everywhere . are you happy? -  happiness comes from things like strong connections with family/friends, achieving personal goals, and feeling satisfaction . are you guilty? - If you plead guilty, you are admitting the charges against you are true, and/or that you have no defense or excuse for the act are you at peace with yourself? - peace to me is being comfortable with yourself, knowing yourself, and trusting yourself. * thank you. those are all good answers - too good. they indicate am 88 percent probability that you had some prior knowledge of the test, as most of these answers are available online. but i didn’t . honest. albert says you did. so what happens now? next

novel 83 - 2. badperson86

by nick nelson

part two of ?

to read part 1, click here

plesse enter your loneliness i d. number, or click here to request one. 563- yhr- 8632. enter a password, password must be 10 digits long and contain at least one lower case letter, one upper case lletter, one number, ne symbol, and no duplications. BadPerson86! that s not a strong password. we recommend one with more randomly chosen digits. do you wish to choose another instead? yes. please enter another password. J4#8Xt(3Q7 reenter password. J4#8Xt(3Q7. thank you .see how easy that was. you may choose a user i d. this is optional . otherwise you will be known to other subscribers by your loneliness i d. enter user i d. leave blank to be known by loneliness i d badperson86. thank you. enter 1 to contact another lonely person, or 2 to be contacted by one. 2. a lonely person will contact you within 12 hours. log in to this site at any time to check your messages. next

novel 83 - 1. loneliness

by nick nelson

part one of ?

this is loneliness, can i help you? yes, i am lonely. do you have a lonely i d number? no. you need one to proceed. do you want one? i guess. say yes or no. or press 1 for yes, or 2 for no. yes, i want one. your number is 563- yhr- 8632. do you want me to repeat that? no, i have it recorded. you can use that number to sign on to our website. choose a password, and you will be connected to another lonely person. do you have any other questions or can i help you with anything else today. i have a question. go on. don’t i have to fill out some kind of profile? before i am connected to another person? no. no! but what if - if - i am not - um - in sync with the other person? loneliness is not a dating service,or a marriage bureau. we try to make that clear in our ads. we make no claim to do anything but to connect you to another lonely person. that is why our rates are do low - the lowest in town. you can just talk or text to the person you connect to, or take it from there. what if the person does not read or speak english? we have translation software for over 500 languages. you wlll be fine. you can cancel at any time before 30 days, at no fee. do you have any other questions? how much does it cost? your first three interactions are free. if you continue beyond that you will pay ten drachmas for every interaction. does it natter how long the interaction lasts? an interaction lasts three minutes. plenty of time to schedule a meeting or connection with the person or entity contacted. thank you. that sounds very reasonable. thank you for using loneliness. goodbye. next