749632 - 4. the door

by red jones

part four of ?

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pete had a strange stream. he walked through a door into a gray room with a lot of men in green suits and blue bow ties who were sitting in purple armchairs and staring at him. pete loved the whole human race but there was something in the stares of the men in the green suits that made him uneasy. this is the first one, a man in the front row of purple chairs announced. pete thought he looked familiar. he looks like albert einstein, pete thought, but without that individual’s kindly smile. another man, who looked a little bit like pope urban iii, said, i hope the others look a bit more … something something that pete could not make out …. and most of the other men laughed. do not mind them, the albert einstein man’s expression softened a bit as he contemplated pete, just do what you have to do and everything will be all right. what do i have to do? pete asked uncertainly. we have some tasks for you, abert einstein - for the man had relaxed into unmistakably albert einstein - said. pete relaxed. he was used to streams in which he was assigned tasks, often accompanied by sherlock holmes or cary grant, and he usually acquitted himself acceptably. we have a companion for you, albert einstein continued. a door opened in the back of the room, and a woman, neither young nor old and of no particular color, walked through it. she, too, looked familiar, though in a different way from professor einstein. had pete seen her in the corridor outside his room? did she live, like him, in building 749632? let’s go, the woman said, we have not got all the time in the world. i love you, pete replied. that is good to know, the woman replied brusquely. i will fill you in on the mission as we go along. of course, pete said, i understand perfectly. the men un the purple armchairs laughed as pete followed the woman through the blue door. next

749632 - 3. the process

by red jones

part three of ?

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unbeknownst to pete and larry and veronica and daphne, the department of population had decided that city 607432 would have its population decreased by 67% by consolidating all its inhabitants. the city would be broken down into groups of three inhabitants, and each group of three would be consolidated into a single inhabitant, or to use the almost obsolete term still used by some of the older denizens of the city, single individual. each floor of every building in city 607432 contained twenty-eight rooms housing a single inhabitant. nine groups of three would be consolidated from each floor. the twenty-eighth person from each floor would be placed in a pool of persons to be experimented on with a view to future consolidation of groups larger than three. pete, veronica, and larry were designated to be combined into a single person, and each received a notice to be ready for the process when building 749632’s turn came. the nature and purpose of the process were not described in detail but simply as a “quality of life and efficiency upgrade”. daphne, as the inhabitant of the twenty-eighth apartment and odd person out on the twenty-first floor of building 749632, received a notice to be prepared for relocation. the notice gave no indication of the purpose of the relocation or the whereabouts of the new location. upon receiving their notices, it did not occur to either pete or larry to contact each other or veronica to discuss or speculate on the “upgrade”. pete loved the whole human race and assumed that the “upgrade” would work out for the best. larry, of course, hated the whole human race and assumed the worst, but he always assumed the worst about everything. veronica and daphne decided to get together - actually physically face to face in veronica’s room and talk about it. daphne baked a dozen chocolate chip cookies to bring to veronica’s room for the meeting. next

749632 - 2. veronica and daphne

by red jones

part two of ?


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veronica mordaunt, number 7609-7854-3381-0605, lived across the hall from pete evans in apartment 21-26 daphne huggins, number 7609-7854-3381-0604, lived across the hall from larry payne in apartment 21-28. unlike pete and larry, veronica and daphne were best friends and communicated freely with other, although they hardly ever came face to face or occupied the same physical space. neither veronica nor daphne had much use for tv shows or movies or novels or comic books or history or science or old time religion. veronica did occasionally read and write poetry, but only in the service of revolutionary ideals and regarded any kind of poetry not dedicated to such ideals with contempt. daphne, though also an ardent revolutionary in her way, had little use for poetry or any art except art that could be reproduced on posters and t-shirts. she was also an ardent student of the ancient art of cooking, although the opportunities to practice what she learned were limited in building 749632 of city 607432 veronica was mauve and daphne was gray. next

749632 - 1. pete and larry

by red jones

part one of ?

note: this novel will be written in the year 3065 by red jones. it has been recovered by professor wolfgang x of gottesburg from the black hole at the center of the alcyoneus galaxy and translated by laura peterson gillhammer. the cultural refrences contained in the novel have been adjusted to make them comprehensible to a 21st century audience. every effort has been made to retain the spirit of the original novel. pete evans and larry payne lived in apartments beside each other on the 21st floor of building 749632 of city 607432 in continent 2-a. pete’s number was 7609-7854-3381-0604 and he lived in apartment 21-25 and larry’s number was 7609-7854-3381-0606 and he lived in apartment 21-27. they never spoke to each other on their infrequent encounters in the hallway. they had some things in common, others not so much. pete liked star wars and larry liked star trek. gene autry was pete’s favorite movie star and bette davis was larry’s favorite movie star. sherlock holmes was pete’s favorite fictional character, and emma bovary was larry’s favorite fictional character. amerigo vespuccii was pete’s favorite historical character, and tamerlane was larry’s favorite historical character.. albert einstein was pete’s favorite scientist, and alan turing was larry’s favorite scientist. kim kardashian was pete’s favorite reality star and khloe kardashian was larry’s favorite. rudyard kipling and ella wheeler wilcox were pete’s favotite poets and charles bukowski and john dryden were larry’s favorite poets. st peter was pete’s favorite preacher and aimee semple macpherson was larry’s favorite preacher. they both liked blueberry pancakes with tofu syrup for breakfast, though pete occasionally varied his diet with a cheese omelette. they both exercised two hours in the morning, and two hours in the afternoon. so you see, they both had a lot in common and also differed in many ways. there was one way in particular that they greatly differed. pete loved the whole human race, and larry hated the whole human race. next

the creature

by bofa xesjum

the creature made its way steadily across the virgin plain. paxton watched through his brown leather binoculars with a beating heart. he had been dreading this moment for his whole nartural life. suddenly the creature stopped. it seemed to be listening to something. it turned and ran swiftly back into the gray shadows. anything wrong, paxton? ogleby’s voice came piercingly into paxton’s headphones. just a temporary setback, paxton mumbled unconvincingly. i will mark it on your file. paxton did not ask how any marks he now had on his file, or how many more he was allowed. he knew. he was born knowing. and now the creature was gone. it had been his best chance and now it was gone.

utopian grit, part 1

by bofa xesjum

part 1 of ?

mister blue had reached the highest echelon of success through his grit, determination, and hard work. but number 5’s xenophobia was still an obstacle to be hurdled. miss black kept her mouth closed on the sensitive subject. william wilson was secretly an unrepentant xenophobe himself. it was all beeswax to lady violet. the momentum had shifted, number 33 mused. nobody said a word when 713-5 strode into the board room. it was a less than utopian scene. utopian indeed, ignatius sunset chuckled grimly to himself. maria wang thought it was all wallpaper. and that the board room was overpopulated. the echelons were not as clearly delineated as they used to be. the old guard kept their own counsel. so did the old clown, down in the boiler room. the clown had done yeoman service through the decades. 713-5’s vision of the future had never rung quite true. but the proles. led by 830-7, loved him, or so it seemed. the walls looked down and were silent. but it seemed to karl marx that a significant milestone had been reached. the old guard seemed to agree. their opprobrium was palpable. ahmed ying had lost his momentum. uncle ike hobo’s hold on his place on the ladder trembled in the balance. gentlemen, beware the old guard! today we have reached peak, 713-5 growled, breaking the silence, outside the window overlooking the immaculatately tended lawn, a bee buzzed. counselors, beware the old guard! to be continued