Friday, December 20, 2024

original story 25 - happen



by bofa xesjum




i wonder if anything will happen to me today, vera mused.

should i get up and go into the kitchenette and make myself another cup of coffee, or should i pick the remote up off the table beside me and turn on the television and watch the news?

something important might have happened that i should know about.

but what could be that important?

i do not hear people shouting in the street outside.

but then again, i am here on the fifteenth floor and if people were shouting in the street it would have to be awfully loud for me to hear it.

so i guess i will get up and make another cup of coffee, even though the one i just drank was not all that great.

suddenly the doorbell rang.

who could that be? vera wondered. nobody ever comes to see me, and i do not remember ordering anything.

maybe i ordered something months ago, and forgot all about it and now here it is.

the bell rang again, but not as loudly, as if whoever was ringing was not very insistent,

but when vera got up and opened the door she did not immediately see anybody.

nor was there a package on the floor.

then she looked up and saw a woman in s long coat walking down the corridor, apparently headed for the elevators around the corner.

excuse me, vera called to the woman, but the woman did not seem to hear her and disappeared around the corner.

vera did not want to follow her, because she did not have her shoes on.

she thought, if i go back and put my shoes on, by the time i get to the elevator she will be gone.

i wonder what that was all about.

i wonder if it qualified as something happening.

vera went back inside her apartment.

she made herself another cup of coffee.

then she sat back down on the sofa and picked up the remote and turned on the tv.

“the view” was on. whoopi goldbetg and sunny hostin were going on about something, but as vera had not heard the start of the conversation, she could not make out what it was.



Tuesday, December 17, 2024

original story 24 - amusement on a summer morning



by bofa xesjum




so this is how you treat your best friend.

i have no excuse.

dawn was breaking outside the old house.

jose li’s period of ascendancy was coming to an ignominious close.

but the worst was yet to come.

inspector quant was on his way.

lady li poured herself another cup of coffee.

considering all that had happened during the long night, she appeared remarkably composed.

she was an old cowhand from the rio grande.

no one had ever caught her with her hand in the cookie jar.

she always professed not to believe in luck, but to make her own.

now all her dreams of glory had been shattered and scattered to the four winds.>

the car carrying inspector quant drove into the courtyard and the driver slammed on the brakes.

the driver, sergeant oliphant, whistled a happy tune as he was a morning person.

the inspectpr’s mind was blank, as it always was when he started on a case.

a rabbit ran across the courtyard.

upstairs, the earl slept peacefully and obliviously.

person, the butler, knocked on the earl’s door.

violence never solved anything.

francesca, lady li’s maid, suddenly appeared at the end of the corridor.

she strode purposefully toward person.

take this to heart, and remember it well.

youth will be served, when there are no more tea cups or tennis balls in hell.

the inspector is here.

<

perhaps you can persuade him to just go away.

many have tried, but tradition still holds sway.

very amusing.



Monday, December 16, 2024

original story 23 - lorelei



by bofa xesjum




look at you, mister brown growled.

sebastian looked down at himself. his shirt was not on backwards, so far as he could tell.

you are a hopeless case, mister brown continued, but i am going to give you one more chance. one more chance, but only because i owed your grandfather a favor, do you understand?

yes, sir, i understand. what do you want me to do?

moloch will tell you what you have to do.

mister brown tapped a number on his desk phone.

the door opened and moloch’s hulking figure appeared.

job number 53, mister brown said to moloch. he nodded to sebastian that the interview was over and that he should accompany moloch.

outside, the night was dark and the streets were deserted.

an ordinary looking pickup truck was parked beside the building.

moloch got in the driver’s seat and sebastian went around and got in the front passenger seat.

sebastian did not speak until they were out on the main road, which was as empty as the streets in the city.

what is job number 53?

nothing that concerns you. i will be doing it myself. you will be doing a job, a real easy job, for me instead.

sebastian knew enough not to question this.

they drove along in silence.

they drove and drove, out to the outskirts of town.

finally they came to a little house, on a back road by itself in the middle of nowhere.

moloch turned his lights off and pulled up about fifty yards from it.

he reached into the glove compartment and took out a small pistol. it looked like a toy.

take this. go up to the door and ring the bell. the bell works. a dame will come out - she will take her time, but she will come out. just plug her.

right there, in the door?

go inside if she lets you in right away. them let her have it. don’t waste time, just do it. i will be out here waiting.

why don’t you do it yourself?

because she knows me, you idiot. just do it

sebastian took the small weapon, put it in his side pocket, and approached the door.

he hoped there was nobody inside.

he rang the bell. no answer.

he looked back at the dark truck. he decided to ring again.

the door opened.

a woman with long black hair, wearing a tightly belted black bathrobe, stood there .

and what a woman! the most beautiful woman sebastian had ever seen in his short life. he felt overwhelmed by her spectacular knockoutedness.

her eyes scanned the street behind sebastian. who are you and what do you want? she asked.

sebastian’s hand shook in his pocket and he could not get the gun out of it.

who are you? he gasped.

without answering, she grabbed his arm and pulled him inside.

when she let go of his arm, he got his hand out of his pocket but the pistol fell out of his hand and clattered on the floor.

the woman picked it up.

she looked out the window. the lights on the truck were still off.

i have to get out of here, she said to herself. gripping the pistol, she headed toward a back door.

take me with you, sebastian implored.

she ignored him, but he followed her.

a small black two door sedan was parked in back of the house. the woman got into it.

take me with you, sebastian asked her again.

all right, but only as far as the bus station.

instead of circling around to the street where the truck had been parked, the woman backed the car up an alley behind the house. soon they were on the main highway, moving at just under te speed limit.

there was no sign of the truck, or anything else, following them.

what is your name? sebastian asked the woman again.

what? what do you care?

i am just curious.

um - my name is lorelei.

thank you. i like to know peoples names. i am peculiar that way,

why? they don’t have to give you their real ones.

lorelei dropped sebastian off at the bus station.

he took the first bus he could, as far as it would take him for the money he had in his pocket.

it took him to thompsonville, just as dawn was breaking.

from thompsonville he hitched a ride to weaverville, and from weaverville through death valley and up the coast to santa cruz.

he joined a small commune of peaceful souls like himself and stayed there for sixty years, becoming known and revered as rhe old man of the mountain, although rarely venturing near any mountains.

but he never forgot that night in mister brown’s town.

and he never forgot lorelei.



Sunday, December 15, 2024

original story 22 - victory



by bofa xesjum




victory is assured now, sidney thought.

except that it might not be, he quickly added to himself.

down in the pit, the two champions continued to struggle.

boris the barbarian, sidney’s man, seemed to have the advantage over lady limbtearer, isidore’s rep.

but now the lady seemed to be holding her ground.

suddenly the lights went out.

outside, fog shrouded the night.

perhaps i should get out of here, sidney exclaimed, before the authorities get here.

quickly, sidney, quickly, a voice in his head urged him.

was it the voice of constantine, his old mentor who had recently escaped from devils island?

sidney put his running shoes on.

he wrapped himself in his cloak of invisibility.

he went out into the dark corridor and down the five flights of stairs to the street.

he hoped to find the streets dark and deserted.

instead he found that the streets, and the city, had vanished.

maybe, he thought, the railroad station is still open.

but in what direction was it?

he wrapped his cloak of invisibility tighter around himself and began walking.

this is what comes of thinking bad thoughts, he thought.

and of falling in with bad companions.

poor sidney!

he tried to think good thoughts.

quiet potatoes cooling on a peaceful stove a long time ago obviously

suddenly the street and the city reappeared.

he saw a lamppost up ahead.

all his bad companions who had led him astray were hanging out around it.

he heard one of them call his name -

even though he was invisible.

so much for victory.



Saturday, December 14, 2024

original story 21 - bright pink icing, part 2



by bofa xesjum

part 2 of 2





the man in the green hat with a yellow feather in it pondered the question posed by the man in the blue baseball cap with the red letter “y” on it.

tell me, he finally asked, how would you define “trained deadly assassin”? what would it take for a person to qualify as a “trained deadty assassin”?

let me see - a person would qualify as an assassin if they had killed at least thirty people a year for - let’s say five years - better make it ten - and had made at least ten million dollars a year. during that time.

and never got caught by the police.

no, of course not.

how many people in the world right now do you think would answer that description? out of the eight billion people alive right now.

oh - i think a conservative guess would be about two million. would you agree?

no.

what would your estimate be?

zero. persons meeting your definition do not exist, any more than zombies or vampires or bigfoot exist.

ha ha! what are you, a time traveler from the middle ages? it has been scientifically proven that everything exists, you illiterate morion!

i will not sit here and be insulted. i offered you my hospitality and this is how you repay me?

then get up and leave, you fascist bozo who probably voted for hitler and donald trump.

i voted for william mckinley in the last election and for genghis khan in the one before that.

if you say so.

and with that, the man in the green hat got up and left.

with a genteel smile, the man in the blue baseball cap took a small spiral notebook and a ball point pen out of his shirt pocket and made an entry in the notebook with the pen.

a large woman wearing a yellow raincoat and a yankees cap, and carrying a turkey dinner on a tray, approached the table.

do you mind if i sit here?

i very much mind. you are invading my space. get lost.

the woman in the yellow raincoat put her turkey dinner on the table and sat down.

i think the pink icing on your whatsit looks disgusting, she announced.

whatever happened to old fashioned courtesy and good manners?

end of part 2
.


Friday, December 13, 2024

original story 21 - bright pink icing, part 1



by bofa xesjum

part 1 of 2




a man wearing a green hat with a yellow feather in it was seated alone at a small square table in a large establishment, staring down at a cup of coffee and a small plate with a few crumbs on it. the table could seat four, but only two comfortably.

another man, wearing a blue baseball cap with a red letter “y” on it, approached the table carrying a tray on which rested a cup of tea and a small pastry, halfway between a donut and a croissant, with bright pink icing on it.

do you mind if i sit here? the man in the blue baseball cap asked the man in the green hat.

it is a public place, the man in the green hat replied.

i am aware of that, but common courtesy requires that i ask your permission.

and if i refused, would you retreat?

of course.

please be seated.

thank you.

the man in the green hat continued staring at his cup of coffee, which gave off an aura of indescribable chiliness, and at the crumbs on his plate, which exuded the most intense despair.

i bet i can guess your name, the man in the blue baseball cap asserted, as he made himself comfortable at the table

really? you think you recognize me? no ,but i have a happy facility for guessing people’s names.

really? what then is my name?

albert jones.

wrong.

what is it, then?

rhodomontade chan - king arthur.

oh. well, you can not win them all.

maybe you can not.

if you do not mind my asking, what is your occupation?

i do mind.

are you by any chance a trained deadly assassin?

r the man in the green hat, who had styled himself rhodomontade chan - king arthur, laughed for the first time in the encounter.

no, of course not, he asserted.

why, of course not?

end of part 1
.

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

original story 20 - the headline



by bofa xesjum






great things are about to happen, ted mused abstractedly.

perhaps i will be a party to them.

if pete were here, he would laugh at me.

however, pete is not here as he is in jail because i testified against him in court, where he was charged with a crime he did not commit.

it is quite useless to remonstrate with me - i feel no guilt about his plight.

someday i may feel sorry, but not right at this moment.

pete was not kind to me.

maybe i should have returned his unkindness with charity or at least so called fair play.

but i was born for greatness, and pete was not.

greatness comes from the stars - not from the pathetic dreams of humans.

hey buddy do you realize you are talking to yourself?

i am sorry - i seem to have been doing a lot of that lately.

who is this pete character? anybody i know?

he is a creature of my imagination - a product of my intense isolation and loneliness.

it must be tough.

you can not imagine how tough it is.

personally, i always look at life as a joke.

except when the joke is on you.

do you know me enough to make such a definitive statement so unconditionally?

maybe.

then again, maybe you do not.

i remember many things - some of them even happened in real life.

i forget everything as soon as it happens.

the sheriff is on my trail.

tell him hello from me when he catches you.

very well. but what is your name?

what is yours?

just then a newspaper blew down the street.

the headline read -